What do you do when your little angel does something that’s less than angelic? Although almost every child will be tempted at some point to take something that does not belong to them, no parent wants to think their child is a thief.
An old proverb says, “If you will lie, you will steal. And if you steal, you will kill.” This comparison may be extreme but it is true that small transgressions can lead to larger ones if unchecked.
There are a lot of reactions one can have to learning their child has stolen. After you get over the initial shock, here is what you can do.
Until your child has a concept of possession, them taking things that do not belong to them doesn’t need to be considered stealing. Once your child is old enough to know the difference between something they are free to take and things that they can only get through deception, it’s time to talk to them about stealing.
If you find that your child has something that doesn’t belong to them, you should address it. Try not to be too harsh in what you say, especially if this is their first offense. It’s important to help them understand why stealing is bad. This is easy if they took something from an individual but may be more difficult if they took something from a faceless entity such as a grocery store. Try to keep the reasoning simple for them to understand, use words that evoke empathy like, “we don’t take things that don’t belong to us because we don’t want our things taken from us.” It’s also perfectly okay to tell them that stealing hurts others feelings, and to think about how they would feel if someone took their things.
Perhaps your child already knows that stealing is wrong and this is not their first offense. At this point, it’s important to talk to your child about why they stole the item. Sometimes they do it because they wanted the item, other times (and your child may not be able to articulate this) they do it for the feeling they get when they get away with it. Once you know the reasoning, you can learn how to help them not do it again.
If you think your child stole because they wanted the object, it may be time to help them learn self-control and the value of receiving things through earning them. If they stole just because they could, making them return the item and apologize may be embarrassing enough to ensure they never do it again.
If you constantly have problems with stealing, you may need to seek help from a professional to determine underlying problems.
